Who You Creepin'?

Friday, January 14, 2011

...Top 3 Guys In Sports I Wish Would Disappear...



Here are the 3 guys in Sports I wish would disappear - this isn't a list of the 3 guys I like the least - Rex Ryan will not be on this list, for example, despite the fact that I think it's possible I find him to literally be the worst.

I think if you want a Rex Ryan metaphor, here is a quick clip that explains how I feel about Rex Ryan. In this video, Jack Skellington is Bradykid, Oogie Boogie is Rex Ryan, and Santa's foot at the end is Danny Woodhead.  


It's the unravelling that I really like. This list isn't a list of guys I only dislike - it's a list of guys that I dislike, but also I feel they detract, rather than add, to the glory and glamour of sports. Rex is a buffoon, but my argument would be that as a villain, he added more to this NFL season than he took away. These guys below are all about subtraction.

Here are the 3 guys in Sports I'd really like to just see disappear.  

Craig Sager - It isn't his wardrobe choices that put him on this list, it's just about everything about him. I get frustrated when Bjork shows up at the Oscars wearing a dead swan and people say that she is the "worst dressed" - because she is obviously trying to dress like a maniac.  That's what Sager is doing here, except he is forgetting he isn't part of the show at all. At least Bjork made "Dancer in the Dark," and was incredible.  Sager offers nothing. Literally nobody would notice if he was gone, and he is pretty much on par with all sideline reporters, in all sports. The only difference is Sager draws unnecessary attention to himself with his clothes, and TNT encourages it.



Bud Selig - If you truly read through his legacy, he not only stands out as someone who has mismanaged the sport, but also someone who seems to have the scruples of the aforementioned Oogie Boogie Man.  His early legacy is pushing Fay Vincent out of the seat of Commissioner for his own personal gain, reinstating George Steinbrenner's lifelong ban (a ban people often forget even happened), as well as trying to force the Expos and Twins out of the league, illegally, and settling a giant lawsuit after realizing it was a mistake. He was at the helm when the league was brought to it's knees with a labor stoppage in '94, and closed his eyes as tight as possible during the reign of steroids.  Now we look back on it, the steroids era is as comical and farcical as the Frank Drebbin as Ump portions of the Naked Gun. (I've posted that video here before, so I won't do it again). He ruined baseball   for me, personally, and after he goes I'll consider giving it another shot.

Rick Reilly - I was trying to think if the third would be a player, or a reporter, but I think making it a player would be unfair. Players are players, and their personalities aren't the most important thing - you could argue they aren't important at all.  I don't consider Craig Sager a reporter, he is literally a clown, and Selig is a businessman, whose ethics and output have left us all to question his personality.  The third is Rick, someone who is at the point in his career where he is writing fluff pieces, but making sure that the awards he won when he produced real journalism are in the byline for these fluffies.  His latest article pushed me over the edge.

I may come off as someone who likes Jay Cutler, and to be honest I don't really have an opinion. I often think at times he looks disinterested and I don't think he is a Super Bowl winning QB - his body language is confusing, but I am not on his team, and they did go 12-4, and I have some friends who are athletes who are maniacs (Hot Kyle, anyone?) but I'd put him on any team of mine for the rest of my life, he's my guy, and I am sure Jay is someone's guy.

But Rick Reilly is also a metaphor for all the sports journalism out there - folks who have nothing better to write about except sports where people literally die (Steam Room Competitions) and pictures on their books of people putting things in their pants.  Rick isn't interested sports, Rick is interested in Dolla Dolla Billz.  Loving money in itself doesn't bother me, but doing under the guise of my beloved Sports Journalism world is offensive to me

Do you have a list?













3 comments:

Justin said...

I had a list, but now it looks unoriginal because it's exactly the same as yours.

Patrick Bugbee said...

I think that leaving out college football coaches (most of them at least) really overlooks an enormous genre of greedy blowhards...

Unknown said...

Patrick, I live my life pretending college football doesn't exist. It doesn't, actually. It isn't a sport. Sports have concrete winners and losers. Sports have repercussions for breaking the rules. Sports involve crowning a real champion.

Writers have more control over college football than anyone, and I wanted them represented. Rick did the trick.