Last night's Conan monologue. The man has a fire under him, and it is completely depressing that the fire is going to be put out until the Fall, wherever he may end up. This is a hilarious monologue, and it is happening every night now...
From last night: "Hello there, I'm Conan O'Brien and I need all of you to write me a letter of recommendation. Things are getting strange. A lot of papers are reporting that I am now legally prohibited from saying anything negative about NBC. So goodnight, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a great show. … A lot of changes, though, here at NBC. NBC has a new slogan. This is true. The slogan is 'More colorful.' They may be telling the truth because they're about to get rid of the whitest guy on television. … Of course, this has been a stunning couple of days for me. It's a bit hard to accept that soon I won't have a show, but Snooki and 'The Situation' will. Only in America. Everyone watch the Golden Globes last night? Last night at the Golden Globes, Julia Roberts said that NBC was in the toilet. NBC was upset, and toilets were furious. … There are much more important things going on in the world. The U.S.government has digitally updated their file photo of Osama bin Laden. They have given him thinner hair and a greyer beard. Also, just for the fun of it, they gave him a tramp stamp. … 'Avatar' is breaking every record in the book. It has made $65 gillion so far. I didn't even make that up. This is the latest. This is crazy. Extreme fans of 'Avatar' have started naming their newborn children after the Na'vi characters from the movie. I think that is ridiculous, and so do my children C-3PO and Chewbacca. … Yesterday, the founder of Taco Bell passed away at the age of 86. Still no word on whether he is going to have a funeral or a funeral supreme. … I have to talk about this because this really did lift my spirits. Apparently, fans of our show organized rallies all around the country. It's very sweet. Today, there were 'I'm With Coco' rallies. I can't do anything about the name apparently. … Since 'The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien' will probably be wrapping up sometime in the near future, I think it's only right that tonight we take a nostalgic look back at another classic 'Tonight Show' moment. Tonight's classic 'Tonight Show' moment comes from way back in June of 2009. We were all a lot different then. It was a different world. Believe it or not, there was a popular singer in those days who called herself Lady Gaga. The Los Angeles Clippers were then a struggling basketball team. … I want to talk about something else. This has had a huge response and again, I do not know if I'm even legally allowed to do this, but screw it. Last week, I put 'The Tonight Show' up for sale on Craigslist" ("The Tonight Show," NBC, 1/18).
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